Giving Generously
by Pooky1234
Summary: Who'd have thought that Pudsey Bear was really an alien?


**This idea has been bouncing around for some time and I finally pinned it down. I love Children in Need and JB will be on later tonight as he is hosting the show from Glasgow, wearing an interesting suit. This will be auctioned later. Who would have guessed where the idea for Pudsey Bear came from? With apologies to those abroad who have no idea what this is about.**

Giving Generously

'Please tell again why I'm doing this, Jack,' Ianto asked rather plaintively.

'It's the best way of fooling them and the general public, Ianto, Jack replied.

'And it gives the rest of us a day off and a good laugh,' Owen added sarcastically.

'Aww doesn't he look cute,' Tosh said to Gwen.

'I do not look cute! And you can say goodbye to any coffee today. I can't use the machine wearing this.' Ianto waved his paws.

'Rift alert, Jack; its beginning. I'm getting spikes all over Queen Street. It seems we've got about twenty this year, spread across several shops.' Tosh kept her eyes on the screen logging the exact locations.

'Come on, Ianto; time to go and round them up. Owen are you ready to fix their eyes before we send them back?'

'Yeah, here are the bandages to put over them until I can sort them out. Why you used spotty ones before I'll never understand.'

'We had to improvise. Spots were in that year. You know it's a nasty injury. And talking of spots what d'you all think? These were so worth the over £3000 I paid for them last year.' Jack pulled off his trousers to reveal spotty boxers. 'Now I can be a look- a-like and nobody will bat an eyelid when we take the bears.'

'Gwen, you can drive the SUV. We'll let you know when we find one and you can bring it round. The container is in the back with the food. The pesky blighters are always hungry. Just let the police know that we'll deal with them.'

'I've already alerted Andy and he'll let us know if any of them go rogue. We can't have a cuddly Pudsey running rampant through M&S again like last year.'

'You should have been here the year they got into the Woolworth's canteen,' Jack said.

'Not to mention when they raided the Brains brewery. You really don't want to ever see what they're like when they're drunk!' Tosh added.

'But that still doesn't explain why I have to dress like this,' Ianto pleaded.

'Look, you know the ones that come through are infants. You'll look like their parent and it'll keep them quiet. You know they're dangerous if they get the smell of food in their nostrils. And, anyway, you look cute. I promise I'll make it worth your while later.'

'I'd like to know how as there are no zips in this thing that I can find. And how do I go to the loo?'

Jack reached towards Ianto. Finding an opening Ianto hadn't realised was there, he released him from the confines of the suit. From behind, the others just saw Ianto lurch as he whispered, none to quietly to Jack: 'We are so using that later.'

'I don't believe it,' Owen snarked. 'Please don't let me be anywhere near here for that!' Jack just grinned.

'Come on Ianto, work to do.'

It took them all day to round up the bears. Jack was mobbed several times by women who thought he was a certain well known entertainer. Ianto lost count of the kids he had to cuddle, not to mention small bears who cooed in his arms. The kids loved that the bears moved and parents kept asking where they could buy such a toy because they were so lifelike. They also made a shed load of money in their collection tins. By late afternoon the bears were gathered in the SUV and returned to the Hub.

Ianto sat on the sofa totally exhausted. He didn't even have the energy to remove the suit. Owen had repaired all the bears and checked them over. They were all sitting happily in the cells, waiting for the next day when the rift was open for them to return home, as it did each year.

Tosh put a coffee in front of Ianto, who took off the bear's head so he could drink it. Jack came down from his office.

'Right you three, you can go now. Ianto and I have plans and I've a promise to fulfil. I don't think you want to be around for that!'

All three left as instructed. Tosh knew that she and Gwen would be able to watch later, if they chose and nudged each other giggling as they left.

A short time later Jack sat astride Ianto, who was making the growling noises Jack had suggested.

'Sorry, Jack,' he gasped. 'I can't do this with the head on.' He looked down and wondered how he was going to explain those stains to the dry cleaners. It would probably cost a fortune.

'Oh well,' Ianto said. 'I've always believed in giving generously to a good cause. How much did you say you'd donate, Jack?' he asked, picking up the head again.

'Wanna give it another go?'


End file.
